According to the title of my blog post you may think that I’m about to tell you what happened the night I had sex for the first time, but I won’t. That night wasn’t the night I became an adult. I was probably older than the average but still not an adult. I am about to write down what happend and how I felt when my father suddenly died overnight.
One year ago Carlos died. Flushed in the toilet. Carlos is not a gold-fish, Carlos was my embryo of six weeks. I might sound very raw to you when you read this, but reality is raw. These things happen in life but it’s not a topic you talk about for small talk. I know I won’t change the way people think about this taboo, but maybe some women that had the same experience will feel understood an at least I can put this behind myself. I’m not sad anymore. Why did I call him Carlos? With my husband we decided that if we would have a baby we would give him the name Charel or Charlotte. But since the embryo died, it wasn’t the real Charel/Charlotte so my friend named him Carlos, to talk about him more easily.