It’s Eurovision Song Contest time! Yay! The gay Super Bowl is back! Make yourself comfortable on your couch with some friends and a couple of beers and watch the first semi final tonight at 9 p.m. Watch it on PHOENIX if you want so see it in German or on FRANCE4 for those who prefer it in French. You can also stream it online on the ESC web page.
Now you may ask me why do I watch it? On one hand I like traditions and I have always watched it since I was a kid, and there is also the fact that I love to make fun of people on tv. Nobody gets hurt, I can do my jokes and feel funny, it’s perfect. This is why I have always been a fan of the Eurovision Song Contest. In the past, I was even a member of the Luxembourgish fan club of Eurovision, the OGAE Luxembourg. With a couple of friends I helped to organize several charity galas with original ESC singers and I even co hosted the show three times. Whether you love it or hate it, the Eurovision Song Contest is part of European music culture.
Let’s watch it together and for those who think they cannot handle it, I have a drinking game idea:
Before the voting starts, choose your favourite song and every time the song gets points from a country, you have to drink a sip. If it gets 12 points (the maximum) you have to down your drink.
Luxembourg calling, here are my votes for the first semi final:
- Finland – Sandhja “Sing It Away” . The video reminds me of the movie Sleepy Hollow with a touch of a Vegas stripper gang. The song isn’t bad, it’s a happy pop song, but it’s not an exceptional song.
- Greece – Argo “Utopian Land”. If you don’t want to get drunk during the ESC drinking game you have to vote for Greece. This Greek rap song with an English chorus reminds me of the early 2000’s R’n’B songs with a Mediterranean touch.
- Moldova -Lidia Isac “Falling Stars”. A pretty girl with a good voice in a glitter dress singing on eurobeats in front of a wind machine. That’s what we expect from Eurovision but it lacks of originality.
- Hungary – Freddie “Pioneer”. A show with a huge drum vs glow sticks and the singer tries to convince the public with his hoarse voice and his pectorals. He didn’t convince me.
- Croatia – Nina Kraljic “Lighthouse”. Nina’s song sounds like the Cranberries, less acoustic with more beat.
- The Netherlands – Douwe Bob ” Slow Down”. An indie rock song performed by a modern Johnny Cash with a captivating chorus. This is my taste of music, but is it also Europe’s kind of winner song? I doubt it.
- Armenia – Iveta Mukuchyan “Love Wave”. Strong voice, sexy outfit, perfect body, fabulous hair (extensions) All of this could be great if there was a peak in the song. In the end it’s too flat.
- San Marino – Serhat ” I didn’t know”. Falco, Joe Cocker and Gino Paoli impersonator in one body. The song has a funky 70’s rhythm with a whole musical cast dancing in the background. It’s horrible but it’s not break worthy. My bladder will have to wait to be emptied.
- Russia – Sergey Lazarev “You Are The Only One”. Again this is a typical Eurovision song with a 90’s beat, silly, tacky lyrics. A singer who hopes to point with his looks, I hope for him he won’t fall off of his walking wall as he did during the rehearsal. The Eurovision fans say that he has good chances to win the contest.
- Czech Republic – Gabriela Guncikova ” I Stand”. There is not much to say about this one, it’s a classic ballad, sung by a talented singer with a great voice. Hope her show will be good.
- Cyprus – Minus One “Alter Ego”. Cyprus has chosen to send a rock band with a pop rock song to represent them in Stockholm. The song is actually good but what the *** is it doing at the ESC?
- Austria – Zoë ” Loin d’ici”. Do you remember Blümchen’s Piep Piep Kleiner Satelitt? Austria did a revival for their performance, they only changed the language. Techno beat, psychedelic colorful video performed by a singing Lolita.
- Estonia – Jüri Pootsmann “Play”. During this song I will do a toilet break and refill my glass.
- Azerbaijan – Samra “Miracle”. Christina Aguilera’s good voice minus the trashy look. I love her hair ( I might have a slight hair fetish. Are these Bellami hair extensions? They look like mine)
- Montenegro – Highway “The Real Thing”. Cigarette break!
- Iceland – Greta Salome “Hear Them Calling”. This is what I call Eurovision. If you ask me, Iceland could send Hera Björk to Eurovision every year but Greta is also great. (Did you notice the word play) The song keeps you hooked.
- Bosnia and Herzegovina – Dalal and Dean feat. Ana Rucner and Jala “Ljubav Je”. Deen is the fabulous singing pearl of the Balkan. I don’t know why Bosnia and Herzegovina also sent a female singer, a cellist and a rapper because Deen would have completely killed the show as a solo artist. In fact in 2004 he already performed at the Eurovision and now he’s back, without hair but with a magnificent eyebrow situation and a beard.
- Malta – Ira Losco “Walk On Water”. Again a pop song with a good voice, good chorus and good hair. But I’m bored.
This is it, two hours to watch a couple of pseudo rockers, glittery divas and the fabulous Deen with the masterpiece eyebrow situation give all they have to deliver an unforgettable show. See you on thursday for the second semi final!