In the year 2000 I was 16 years old and life sucked. Because I failed maths, I had to repeat a year with a bunch of students I only knew by sight and it was extremely hard for me to get to know new people and habits. I cried for three month until Christmas until I got used to the new situation. Who knew that I would meet my dearest friends in that class and that 17 years after this, my whole circle of friends, would be based on those new friendships. It turns out that I was wrong about a lot of stuff and that things happened differently as I imagined. I made a list of things I would tell my 16-year-old self if I could.
Last Thursday I started my 14 days of detox. I wanted to do it because my husband went on a bike tour through Denmark, still weird to call him “my husband” even after two years of marriage, I never really got used to it, and I assumed he would drop some weight. So I wanted to drop weight too and also because my tummy is way too fat and I don’t like it.
The detox basically consists in:
According to the title of my blog post you may think that I’m about to tell you what happened the night I had sex for the first time, but I won’t. That night wasn’t the night I became an adult. I was probably older than the average but still not an adult. I am about to write down what happend and how I felt when my father suddenly died overnight.
One year ago Carlos died. Flushed in the toilet. Carlos is not a gold-fish, Carlos was my embryo of six weeks. I might sound very raw to you when you read this, but reality is raw. These things happen in life but it’s not a topic you talk about for small talk. I know I won’t change the way people think about this taboo, but maybe some women that had the same experience will feel understood an at least I can put this behind myself. I’m not sad anymore. Why did I call him Carlos? With my husband we decided that if we would have a baby we would give him the name Charel or Charlotte. But since the embryo died, it wasn’t the real Charel/Charlotte so my friend named him Carlos, to talk about him more easily.